Full and completely amazing report at The Smoking Gun:
Arrested Saturday on a drunk driving charge after he was found passed out at the wheel of his Porsche, a multimillionaire founder of the Crocs shoe empire told Colorado cops that his girlfriend, Taylor Swift, had actually been driving the vehicle, according to a police report.
But first, some selected Boedeckerisms:
He described his girlfriend as “batshit crazy.”
“I have 17 fucking homes.”
“I’m not doing your fucking maneuvers.”
“Go fuck yourselves in the ass.”