We’re not saying “The Love Song of Jonny Valentine” is a contender for the Pulitzer, but it still happened. Via The New York Times:

Jonny and his business-savvy mother, Jane, meet with two honchos from the record label, who give them a report titled “Jonny Valentine 2.0 Brand-Extension Strategy” and suggest setting him up on a date with a girl from their “stable” named Lisa Pinto, who could help him expand his reach in the Latino market. Jane is constantly nagging Jonny about his weight and trying to control what he eats — the plan is to keep him “slim and boyish” as long as possible — and exhorting him to work harder, never mind his exhaustion.

“The top person is never simply the most talented, or the smartest, or the best-looking,” she tells him. “They sacrifice anything in their lives that might hold them back.”

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