First of all, the NRA began their much-anticipated statement with a bullshit humblebrag (full statement via The Guardian):

While some have tried to exploit tragedy for political gain, we have remained respectfully silent.

Tip: replace “respectfully” with “strategically” and auto-magically you have a more accurate sentence.

After suggesting we post armed guards in schools, they get to the spoiled meat and million-eyed potatoes of their argument: it’s culture, stupid.

Through vicious, violent video games with names like Bulletstorm, Grand Theft Auto, Mortal Kombat and Splatterhouse. And here’s one: it’s called Kindergarten Killers. It’s been online for 10 years. How come
my research department could find it and all of yours either couldn’t or didn’t want anyone to know you had found it?

Then there’s the blood-soaked slasher films like “American Psycho” and “Natural Born Killers” that are aired like propaganda loops on “Splatterdays” and every day, and a thousand music videos that portray life as a joke and murder as a way of life. And then they have the nerve to call it “entertainment.”

As the New York Observer succinctly put it:

That would be a very good point, Mr. LaPierre, and if you were anyone other than the guy telling us that everyone needs a semi-automatic machine gun with 20 magazines, we might listen. Unfortunately, Kindergarten Killers has not prompted anyone to go on a rampage, since as you say, no one has ever seen that film outside of your office.

And the “only two types of people in this world” argument:

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

A truck would, too. Meanwhile, in more heartwarming (and probably effective) news, Yoko Ono is hosting an “Imagine” singalong in a celebration of peace in the wake of Newtown:

Tonight, at 11:57 p.m. on the dot, crowds will come together in Times Square to sing John Lennon’s “Imagine,” as Yoko Ono’s anti-violence film “Imagine Peace” plays on billboards in the background.

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