… let’s think this one through for a minute. If Kirby was going to burglarize any rapper, why would he ever choose LL Cool J? Yes, LL’s 44, and a family man–actor type now. He’s also had his shirt off in roughly 87 percent of his total music video footage, during which it was made very clear he’s jacked. Also, within that 87 percent of the time in which he’s semi-clothed and not simultaneously evincing an interest in bedding ladies, he was probably evincing, both literally and figuratively, an interest in punching things.

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