Everything is bigger in Texas, including the drama! Fiona Apple spoke out against her treatment at the hands of the Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Department after being arrested for hash possession at her Houston show, but it wasn’t without an off-base retort from the local Sheriff. In the Sheriff’s response to Apple’s outcry, he makes all sorts of weird statements, like how he’s more famous than she is, which could very well be true. It wouldn’t seem like the anti-reefer county would be that familiar with Apple’s music. Is anyone else getting that creepy anti-long-hair vibe from Easy Rider? Read the whole letter below. Via Pitchfork:

First, Honey, I’m already more famous than you, I don’t need your help. However, it would appear that you need mine….

Two weeks ago nobody in the country cared about what you had to say,—now that you’ve been arrested it appears your entire career has been jump-started. Don’t worry Sweetie, I won’t bill you…

Next, have you ever heard of Snoop, Willie or Armand Hammer? Maybe if you would read something besides your own press releases, you would have known BEFORE you got here, that if you come to Texas with dope, the cops will take your DOPE away and put YOU in jail… [Snoop Dogg, Willie Nelson, and actor Armie Hammer were all arrested for marijuana possession in Sierra Blanca, the same Texas town that Fiona was—Ed.]

Even though you and I only met briefly in the hallway, I don’t know you but I’m sure you’re an awesome and talented young woman and even though I’m not a fan of yours, I am sure there are thousands of them out there, and I’m sure that they would just as soon you get this all behind you and let you go back to what you do best—so my last piece of advice is simple “just shut-up and sing.”


Rusty Fleming

Wow! If we weren’t so sure this guy has never heard of hip-hop, we’d be tempted to call that a diss for the ages! Watch Apple’s original statement below.

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