Good news, lonely dudes! You can win a date with Marnie Stern on the day of her album release.
Hipster guys, are you tired of seeing Marnie Stern have relationships with an endless array of losers and bores? Don’t you think a guitarist as great as Marnie should have someone special to watch Law and Order SVU with? Do you enjoy petting dogs while eating chicken wings? And honestly, don’t you think a nice, positively cute, 30-something Jewish girl should meet the man of her dreams? We sure do!
If you live in the New York City area (no long-distance beaus please) and are not a total creep/stalker (we will KNOW if you are), please send an email with your answers to the application questions below, your favorite Marnie song, and a recent photo of yourself. Marnie’s record label will pay for this date, but you’re paying for the next one!
Age, religion, and race are not a factor, but a sense of humor is critical. Marnie’s ideal man is a homebody who doesn’t mind that his girlfriend is out of town on tour a lot, and is not a drug addict, a slacker, or a vegan.
One more thing: Marnie doesn’t get to pick the winner, Marnie’s record label and publicist do, so go ahead and charm the metaphorical pants off us. We just want the best for her…and maybe you are it!!
You can find more info at www.killrockstars.com
Please email all applications to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Are you gainfully employed? Elaborate.
When/how long was your last relationship?
What are your hobbies/interests?
What qualities do you most enjoy in a woman?
List any anti-depressants you currently take:
What do you know about Marnie and why do you want to date her?
What would your most recent ex-girlfriend say about you? Can we get her email?
Where would you take Marnie on a first date and why?
All of the NYC-area Swarm staffers are manically filling out their applications as we speak.