The Daily Swarm

This is hilarious. Will update as necessary.

March 17

HITS:

Just as IB Bad predicted last week, Edgar Bronfman’s new five-year deal has emboldened the label chief to sell the WMG board on re-upping N.A. head Lyor Cohen for a similar term. He apparently succeeded in convincing Sperling and company that, despite massive evidence to the contrary, Cohen is indispensable. And while that stand apparently resulted in heightened tension between Edgar and various board members, the Lyor deal is done, according to insiders. Said one high-profile music business attorney: “Can you name two music business execs in the last 50 years who have done worse in their jobs, and been rewarded more, than these two clowns?”

Lefsetz:

Funny how this didn’t make the “Rumor Mill” at hitsdailydouble. Someone at Starbucks or Concord must be paying Dennis and Lenny, so they get a pass. But Lyor Cohen does not. Isn’t it funny that they beat up that guy EVERY DAY and he gets re-upped? If you’re wondering about their power… It’s even less significant than Edgar and Lyor’s, and theirs isn’t too great either.

One thing Lyor’s convinced me of, he doesn’t give a shit about the “Hits” guys. He’s done with that business. Is Lyor any good? Shit, I don’t know. All I do know is he’s given up the rat race. He wants to sign a very few magnificent acts to 360 deals and be a successful niche player. That wasn’t his term, niche. But he wasn’t focused on world domination…

March 18

HITS:

WMG’s re-upped N.A. chief Lyor Cohen is the subject of outright laughter today after attempting to buy spin from low-rent sycophant bloggers for being a “niche” player in the new 360-game. The praise has people falling down laughing and saying the real niche he occupies is that of “he only lies when he moves his lips” and that he’s grossly overpaying for his 360 deals to make WMG look new model-ish. Can you say O-V-E-R?