The Swarm

November 16, 2010

The Top 15 Craziest Christian Music Videos...

Christian Nightmares

Hello, my name is Christian Nightmares, and I’m a recovered “born again” Christian. I’m also an unemployed editor/writer living in NYC, and lately spend my days and nights running this blog.

Here are some videos that exemplify the kind of beliefs, behaviors, and teachings that helped shape me into the man I am today. Enjoy.

1) William Tapley, aka the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse, aka the Co-Prophet of the End Times, performs an upbeat little ditty about the The Rapture, Armageddon, and Obama as the Leopard King

2) A female Christian rapper performs ‘Christ, Christ, Baby’ to the tune of Vanilla Ice’s ‘Ice, Ice, Baby’

3) Teenage members of the Christian cult Children of God/The Family International sing a song to their leader, David Berg, in 1980

4) Howl-le-lu-ya! Christian songwriter Jim Steager promises to be a good dog for Jesus

5) Christian Black Metal band Erlösung’s official music video for their song ‘Wall of Glass’

6) A fascinating trio of Christians sings a peppy little number called ‘Go Forth!’

7) A large group of Pentecostal Christians do the ‘Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey’

8) ‘Cathy Don’t Go’: A Christian music video warning about 666, microchips, and the Mark of the Beast

9) ‘Dance in Advance’: Could this be considered elderly Christian rap?

10) Church ladies warn of the dangers of loose lips in their song ‘Zip It,’ a parody of Devo’s ‘Whip It’

11) A Christian singer seamlessly transitions from ‘Christ the Lord Is Risen Today’ to ‘That’s Amore’ on a public access show

12) ApologetiX, the ‘Christian music version of Weird Al Yankovic,’ parody Rush’s ‘Tom Sawyer’ with their song ‘Tom Saw Ya,’ about doubting Thomas and the coming of the Holy Spirit

13) A young boy named ‘Christ Ian’ stands on his head and freestyle raps about doing God’s work

14) The Christian Blues Brothers perform ‘Saved Man,’ their take on the song ‘Soul Man’

15) Billy Pollard plays the hymn ‘Oh, How I Love Jesus’ on the musical saw

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