Todd C. Roberts
The first album subjected to Asthmatic Kitty’s unique experiment is Ropechain by Grampall Jookabox, which will sell for a meager $5.40 during its first 54 hours of sale. The label has determined this figure by consulting Pitchfork’s review of Ropechain, which gave the album a score of 5.4, and adjusting the cost accordingly. Yes folks, we have now entered an era where critics are determining how much money you will lay out for an album.
“Pitchfork’s ten point scoring system, along with their infamous one decimal point makes them the ideal choice for a dry run with this experimental pricing structure. It just makes dollars and sense,” said Asthmatic Kitty A&R man Michael Kaufmann. The band has even made a video to reflect this unique pricing structure (see below). If the idea catches on, music fans will presumably start hoping their favorite albums get panned in the media. Meanwhile, critics who offer consistently high scores may face accusations of bribery from labels who are looking to make a fast buck. I would just like to clarify that I am open to all bribes and corruption, and am happy to award the new Jack Johnson album a 10.0 score if his label is willing to pay me off.